Jet Li, Make Way for Jet-licious

For this post, and complete understanding, we need Sam Elliott to narrate and Jeff Bridges to Star...

STRANGER

The Dude got out of his car at Exit 16 off I-89 in New Hampshire. He was one for fillin' up the gas tank, only after the needle got so low, you had to crawl under the dash to see where the little red hand pointed. But the Dude was also aware that while things needed a fillin', others needed the opposite of care.

DUDE
(Entering Exxon/Mobile talking to people at register)

Hey, you guys got White Russian Green Mountain Java? No? Damn. Allright, point me to the head if you'd be so kind.

STRANGER

Now, of course, the Dude would have no way of knowing his own destiny as he entered the restroom to take care of business. But upon completion, personal hygiene was about to give way to the discovery of a lifetime. So, after thoroughly washing his hands, the Dude reckoned that the little metallic push button on the side of the hand blower was as normal as normal gets.


DUDE
(Exiting Bathroom chuckling like a little girl)

MY SKIN -- IT RIPPLED (raising hand to face). It rippled like one of those space guys in a centrifuge... you know man? There cheeks get all ripply. That was me, only it was my hands. Whoa, where can I get me one of those hand blowers.




TRUST ME FOLKS, EXIT 16 BATHROOM OFF OF I-89 in NH. The Hand Dryer is worth it!!!!